The Second Most Important Blog Post in Human History

So part of the reason this malformed fetus of a blog was born was to publicize my work. I, like most college graduates with no job, am an aspiring writer. What sets me apart from them, however, is that I am a man of action. I understand from people I know who are actually published that a key to the whole things is making friends with people in the publishing industry. Therefore, I would like to put my money where my mouth is. Here goes: if any of you, the Blog-reading public who work in the publishing industry send me a letter (an actual letter in an envelope) on the letterhead of a company that prints fiction, I will take two (2) actual American one dollar bills and put them in an envelope addressed to you. I am serious. Two dollars. You don't have to print my stories. You don't have to pledge your undying love for me. All you have to do is send me a letter on publishing company letterhead that says, "Hey, Claes. You have an odd name. I want to be your friend." Please send your letters to 601 13th Ave N, Lake Worth FL, 33460. If you want to you may also send a picture, which I will use to immortalize you in the great Vallhalla that is Claes Vegas. This guy did it, and look how happy he is. All his deepest wishes and desires have been granted, and all for the price of one envelope, a sheet of letterhead and a US Postage Stamp. Just think about it, is all I'm saying.